Meet our Facilitators
The people who lead the classes and discussions are Facilitators. Our facilitators have gone through 16-20 hours of intensive training focusing on understanding the divorce & break-up process and the recovery process needed during and after a divorce or break-up. After the intensive training, the facilitators do “internships” where they help to teach classes and get more hands-on experience.
We are called “Facilitators” because we do not provide counseling or therapy. The groups are educational and provide valid and reliable information that can be helpful in the recovery process. Although no therapy takes place, this support can be very therapeutic. All of the facilitators are volunteers and do not receive any pay for this service.
When did you first take the classes? I was in the first class of facilitators in 2008.
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? I believed in Don’s dream – to help others going through this tough journey.
How long have you been a facilitator? Since the very first group! 
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? There is so much to learn about life, change, journey, support, etc. to help with all of life, not just the divorce process.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? Come try it. It will be the best decision/present you can give yourself. It is so helpful to meet with a group of people going through the same pain and understand why and how it all happened. You will learn to forgive, not just in divorce, but in life.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I am now retired and I have six grandchildren to keep my arms full.
When did you first take the classes? I was in the first facilitator class in 2008.
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? Our founder, “Don Canfield’ advertised the facilitator training and since at the time I was the coordinator for singles, it felt like a good match and next step. I really wanted to help others on their divorce journey.
How long have you been a facilitator? Since the very first group!
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? You never know what wisdom you can take away from helping others. Students are our teachers too!.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? The hardest part is walking in the door. You have nothing to lose after that.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I am retired now so I can work out as much as I like. I like to cook, clean, organize and rest.
When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2023
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? This program was a great resource for me on my journey through my divorce. The group I went through the program with became a second family to me. This program was a critical part of helping me realize I wasn’t alone as I processed the many emotions and stressors of my divorce journey.
How long have you been a facilitator? 1.5 years
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses This course gave me the ability to manage my emotions and responses. This course helped me continue my journey of self-discovery and growth. The course was instrumental in helping me understand that there were other people going through the same struggles I was facing and provided me with a support system to help me in times of frustration and stress.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? I would tell them that being nervous is natural. You aren’t the only person who is nervous or on the fence. Understanding that there are other people who have been in this same place, can help resolve any feelings of isolation or loneliness. The experience of breakup and recovery can often tests our limits both physically and mentally. That experience can help us realize that we are stronger and more capable than we believe. Challenging our preconceived notions of self can lead to growth as we start our journey following divorce.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I enjoy watching sports, traveling, and spending time with my children
When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2023
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? This support group was one of the tools I picked up along my journey that helped me. I feel it is important to give back to our community. Becoming a facilitator has helped me to make my life whole by becoming a support system to others.
How long have you been a facilitator? Fall of 2024 was my first group.
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? Never underestimate the power of listening to others. Providing space to hear someone tell their story is not only healing for them, but helps in my healing process as well.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? No matter if you are ready to tell your story or not, taking the time to understand the steps, and thoughts you are going through will help to provide insights into what you are feeling. Being around others who are in similar situations reverses the effect of feeling lonely because you will discover that you are not in this alone.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? Family gatherings and activities are my favorite. I enjoy baking, being outside, growing my food. I enjoy collecting treasures from nature and creating decor for my home from them. Yoga is a must in my life. I recently obtained my passport and would like to add traveling to my fun bucket list.
When did you first take the classes? Fall of 2022
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? After taking the DBR courses, becoming a facilitator was the choice that made the most sense to me. I am a Certified Life Coach with a focus Inner Healing and am currently completing a Certification Course in Trauma Informed Care. It has been my life’s mission to help others with healing matters of the heart. So, after experiencing DBR and the healing it provided to me, becoming a facilitator was an easy choice to make.
How long have you been a facilitator? Spring of 2024 will be my first group.
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? After taking these courses, overall, I am a happier individual. Additionally, I understand myself better and am able to more effectively navigate life situations with care, understanding and empathy.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? It’s ok that you feel that way. This is a hard road to walk and it comes with such a heavy load of sensations, emotions and tasks to complete. Give yourself some grace, but then show up. You don’t have to say a word. In fact, the first meeting I attended, I sat in the room for almost the entire session without participating. All I did was cry. At the very end of the session one of the facilitators asked me a direct question. I opened my mouth and out came all of my emotions. I was angry- and in a very public way. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to come back. But, the following week, I came back.
I decided that there was something bigger than my fears and that thing was hope. I walked in and everyone was so warm, understanding and welcoming. Over time, this thing that felt like death, wasn’t as unbearable as in the beginning. I began to see the light. I found hope with the help of DBR. Additionally, the facilitators were gentle in their approach but did not shy away from challenging my thought processes in constructive ways. Coming back- even if I had to fight my way into the door – was the best decision I could have ever made.
Going through a divorce may be the darkest, most challenging experience you’ve possibly encountered in life thus far. It comes with lots of fear, uncertainty, and emotions that at times seem too big and too hard to bear. But when those heavy moments hit and you’re at your lowest and weakest point, that’s where your community and support systems play an important role. After all, there is safety in numbers. Push yourself to come out. You might find that this group is the community that will provide the strength and safety that you need in moments when you have nothing left.
I hope to see you soon!
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? Family time is everything! My children and I love to have Family Fun Nights doing various things like board games, walking trails, scavenger hunts around the city or movie night at home. I also enjoy things that provide a sense of stillness and tranquility. So, moments of silence, or laying down by the lake and listening to nature (or the beach) have a calming effect and help me to keep myself in balance. I also enjoy music and from time to time, you’ll catch me singing at random- I may even throw in a happy little jig! Lastly, laughter is one of my most favorite things in the world!! I intentionally find spaces where I can enjoy the joy of laughter.
When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2022
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? I believe in the program and had a desire to learn more and then be able to share it forward.
How long have you been a facilitator? I completed the training in the fall of 2023.
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? Being supported, friendships and knowing I am not alone. It also expanded my awareness of my thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and how they impact my daily life and those around me.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? It’s completely OK and understandable to be on the fence and nervous. I felt similar when I joined a group too. The group has many things to offer. No matter what your reason for joining the group, there is value for everyone no matter where you are in the Divorce and Break Up process.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I am an avid learner. I enjoy reading, attending online leadership courses, mediation, spiritual practices and my most recent interest of holistic medicine and living.
When did you first take the classes? Fall 2018-Spring 2019
What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? I wanted to be apart of helping others heal after divorce and give them support, wisdom, compassion, and resources.
How long have you been a facilitator? Fall 2023
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses Developing better listening skills. Stopping my own thoughts and actually listening to what others are saying so I can offer what is specifically needed in the moment. Something I’m working on in my everyday life and as I take this journey as a facilitator.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? I believe in divine timing, if you’ve found this resource then there’s something here for you. This is a group of people who can relate to what you’re going through and can offer a safe space to sort through the ups and downs of divorce.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I’m a bookworm and love to read (currently reading everything by Freida McFadden!), trying new restaurants, binge watching HGTV, shopping, pickleball, and naps!!
Our Founder
After 22+ years as a Senior Minister, Don retired and found one of the best divorce recovery programs in the country. He asked permission to use and tweak that program. That is the program that he founded as Divorce/Break-Up Recovery for the metro KC area. We began the program in 2008. Kathy Christenson and Paula Higbee are still involved in the program and the only facilitators from the original class of trained facilitators.
What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? The positive help and change I have seen in people who participate in these Recovery groups.
What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? I have talked to numerous people who experience such feelings prior to participating. I suggest that they come and try it and if they feel it’s not the right time for them, they can stop and wait until they are ready.
Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I facilitate a Jackson County Family Court program called F.O.C.I.S. (Focus On Children in Separation) and have done that for 21 years. I enjoy playing racquetball, reading, and in retirement, “doing what I want, when I want, if I want.” I have 10 grandkids and enjoy doing things with them.
