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WHO WE ARE

Don Canfield

When did you first take the classes? After I retired after 22+ years of being a Senior Minister, I wanted to share my volunteer time working with divorced/break-up families.

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? I found one of the best divorce recovery programs in the country and flew down to visit with them for a week. I asked permission to use and tweak that program and founded Divorce/Break-Up Recovery for the metro KC area.

How long have you been a facilitator? I’ve worked with divorce/break-up persons and families for almost forty years and Divorce/Break-Up Recovery in particular since we began in 2008.

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? The positive help and change I have seen in people who participate in these Recovery groups.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? I have talked to numerous people who experience such feelings prior to participating. I suggest that they come and try it and if they feel it’s not the right time for them, they can stop and wait until they are ready.

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I facilitate a Jackson County Family Court program called F.O.C.I.S. (Focus On Children in Separation) and have done that for 21 years. I enjoy playing racquetball, reading, and in retirement, “doing what I want, when I want, if I want.” I have 10 grandkids and enjoy doing things with them.


Kathy Christenson

When did you first take the classes? I was in the first class of facilitators in 2008.

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? I believed in Don’s dream – to help others going through this tough journey.

How long have you been a facilitator? Since the very first group! 😊

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? There is so much to learn about life, change, journey, support, etc. to help with all of life, not just the divorce process.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? Come try it.  It will be the best decision/present you can give yourself. It is so helpful to meet with a group of people going through the same pain and understand why and how it all happened. You will learn to forgive, not just in divorce, but in life.

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I am now retired and I have six grandchildren to keep my arms full.

Paula Higbee

When did you first take the classes? I was in the first facilitator class in 2008.

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator? Our founder, “Don Canfield’ advertised the facilitator training and since at the time I was the coordinator for singles, it felt like a good match and next step.  I really wanted to help others on their divorce journey.

How long have you been a facilitator? Since the very first group! 😊

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? You never know what wisdom you can take away from helping others. Students are our teachers too!.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? The hardest part is walking in the door.  You have nothing to lose after that.

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I am retired now so I can work out as much as I like. I like to cook, clean, organize and rest.

David Wetzel

When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2023

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator?  I believe this is a good and helpful program and I believe that it is God’s plan that when put in a place to help others it is our duty to do so.

How long have you been a facilitator? I just began and am looking forward to more.

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? It is up to us to choose what we react to, and how we react. I believe attitude and how we approach life is less what has happened to us, but how we react to it.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? It’s a big step forward in the healing process to be in the company of others who have struggled, or are struggling with many of the same feelings and processes that you are. If you are not ready to share, that’s ok, you do not have to, but to know you do not have to feel alone and share when you are ready.

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? I love my job, I like to garden, I like to spend time with my father, and love to praise and worship God. I enjoy travel, especially Hawaii.  It is the place that brings peace in my mind.

Courtney Ray

When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2023

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator?  This support group was one of the tools I picked up along my journey that helped me. I feel it is important to give back and have made this a goal of mine to find an organization to give my time back to. Becoming a facilitator has helped me to make my life whole by becoming a support system to others.

How long have you been a facilitator? Fall of 2023 is my first group.

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? Never underestimate the power of listening to others. Providing space to hear someone tell their story is not only healing for them, but helps in my healing process as well.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? No matter if you are ready to tell your story or not, taking the time to understand the steps, and thoughts you are going through will help to provide insights into what you are feeling. These feelings are strong and will make you feel like no one has a clue as to what you are going through. Being around others who are in similar situations reverses the effect of feeling lonely because you will discover that you are not in this alone.

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun? Family gatherings and activities are my favorite. I enjoy baking, I enjoy being outside, the sun on my face, foraging in nature, hanging out in the pool in the summer.I enjoy collecting treasures while foraging and creating beautiful decor from them. Yoga is a must in my life. I recently obtained my passport and would like to add traveling to my fun bucket list.

Lanette

When did you first take the classes? Fall of 2022

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator?  After taking the DBR courses, becoming a facilitator was the choice that made the most sense to me. I am a Certified Life Coach with a focus Inner Healing and am currently completing a Certification Course in Trauma Informed Care. It has been my life’s mission to help others with healing matters of the heart. So, after experiencing DBR and the healing it provided to me, becoming a facilitator was an easy choice to make.

How long have you been a facilitator? Spring of 2024 will be my first group.

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses?  After taking these courses, overall, I am a happier individual. Additionally, I understand myself better and am able to more effectively navigate life situations with care, understanding and empathy.

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one?  It’s ok that you feel that way. This is a hard road to walk and it comes with such a heavy load of sensations, emotions and tasks to complete. Give yourself some grace, but then show up. You don’t have to say a word. In fact, the first meeting I attended, I sat in the room for almost the entire session without participating. All I did was cry. At the very end of the session one of the facilitators asked me a direct question. I opened my mouth and out came all of my emotions. I was angry- and in a very public way. I was so embarrassed. I didn’t want to come back.  But, the following week, I came back.

I decided that there was something bigger than my fears and that thing was hope. I walked in and everyone was so warm, understanding and welcoming. Over time, this thing that felt like death, wasn’t as unbearable as in the beginning. I began to see the light. I found hope with the help of DBR. Additionally, the facilitators were gentle in their approach but did not shy away from challenging my thought processes in constructive ways. Coming back- even if I had to fight my way into the door – was the best decision I could have ever made.

Going through a divorce may be the darkest, most challenging experience you’ve possibly encountered in life thus far. It comes with lots of fear, uncertainty, and emotions that at times seem too big and too hard to bear. But when those heavy moments hit and you’re at your lowest and weakest point, that’s where your community and support systems play an important role. After all, there is safety in numbers. Push yourself to come out. You might find that this group is the community that will provide the strength and safety that you need in moments when you have nothing left.

I hope to see you soon!

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun?  Family time is everything! My children and I love to have Family Fun Nights doing various things like board games, walking trails, scavenger hunts around the city or movie night at home. I also enjoy things that provide a sense of stillness and tranquility. So, moments of silence, or laying down by the lake and listening to nature (or the beach) have a calming effect and help me to keep myself in balance. I also enjoy music and from time to time, you’ll catch me singing at random- I may even throw in a happy little jig! Lastly, laughter is one of my most favorite things in the world!! I intentionally find spaces where I can enjoy the joy of laughter.

Kim Stoecklein

When did you first take the classes? Spring of 2022

What caused you to take the next step and become a facilitator?  I believe in the program and had a desire to learn more and then be able to share it forward.

How long have you been a facilitator? I completed the training in the fall of 2023. 

What has impacted you the most in your day to day after taking and facilitating these courses? Being supported, friendships and knowing I am not alone. It also expanded my awareness of my thoughts, beliefs, behaviors and how they impact my daily life and those around me. 

What would you say to someone who is on the fence or nervous about opening themselves up to a support group like this one? It’s completely OK and understandable to be on the fence and nervous. I felt similar when I joined a group too. The group has many things to offer. No matter what your reason for joining the group, there is value for everyone no matter where you are in the Divorce and Break Up process. 

Outside of being a facilitator what do you like to do for fun?  I am an avid learner. I enjoy reading, attending online leadership courses, mediation, spiritual practices and my most recent interest of holistic medicine and living.  

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